Blog-A-Day Countdown: My (sad) Abstinent Love Life and Scotty Shops for Sex Toys

Blog-A-Day Countdown to 2012, #10

My Sad, Lacking Love Life

Scott Goes Shopping

I went Christmas shopping tonight.  To no avail. I ended up buying CatCat some food, a lanyard for myself and.. well.. that about sums it up. I fail. I was in the company of my good friend Scott Williams, so at least I had fun. We met up at the mall, which was fairly lame, and then went and ate Mexican. After that, realizing I had him captive in my car, I made him follow me around in PetCo, BestBuy and Target.

We were in Spencers Gifts in the mall and came across a rather large selections of sex toys.  Not just your run of the mill gag gifts like Spencers used to carry, but full blown large silicon genitalia, whips, chains and a variety of lube that puts the flavors at Baskin Robbins to shame.  I should also mention that we were the only people over, say, 20 in the store. When did selling items like this, in a MALL, become acceptable?




Scott was in Heaven! A veritable treasure trove of sparkly, silicone-y things
he didn't fully understand.. but was definitely interested in trying out!


I'm no prude, by any stretch of the imagination.  I've owned my fair share of vibrating accessories. Actually, now that I think about it.. the last one I had I lost on a poker trip to Biloxi. I don't remember the details, only that I left home with it.. and returned without it.  And my only companion was the aforementioned Mr. Williams. Hmmm. If any of you ladies are at Scott's house and happen to see something that resembles a dolphin, and requires batteries.. You know what? Nevermind. Let him keep it.

Anyway, my point is.. I just don't think these things should be only display for every 12 year old who wanders the mall.  Not to mention, these things aren't doing any favors for shaping a little girl's mind about the physique of her future sexual partners.  Your average man doesn't have 10 inches of symmetrical perfection, coupled with controllable speeds and cute accessories. We're really just warping the kid's minds for future disappointment.

My next event is just 90 minutes from New Orleans! JACKPOT!

Speaking of disappointment, Scott has a lady friend. This, in and of itself, doesn't disappointment me. I'm happy he's getting some action. It isn't serious, and I wouldn't care even if it were. As most of you know, I love him to pieces.. he's my best friend, and quite possibly the most perfect man on earth. (I can write that in full confidence that he doesn't have the attention span to read this far). Everyone always says.. "When are you guys getting married?" But really, Scott needs a gal who drives a mini-van and has PTA meetings to attend. Not a blonde tattooed chick who doesn't stay in the same place more than ten minutes. Even if it does get serious, I'll still be here. I'll be around to push him around the old folk's home. (Which should be in about.. oh, 10 years). He's as important to me as CatCat. Plus, he's cute. And this one time, after 19 bottles of wine.. Oh wait, we don't talk about that in the blog. But still.. I'm a little sad..

I sort of owe him some free wheelchair pushes.
Even if he is at least partially responsible for my busted ankle here.
He knows I can't walk, think AND chew gum at the SAME time!
P.S. Nice pajamas, Scott. You always dress to impress the ladies.

Why am I sad? Because I'm getting NO action. And when Scott Williams is getting more than me, hell has practically frozen over. Unfortunately, it's a self imposed act of abstinence.  Christina Sharkady made a bet with me exactly 6 months before Feb. 14, 2012 that I couldn't go 6 months without hooking up with someone.  I made the bet only half way taking it seriously.. I'd just moved to Vegas, it was TIME to make some bad decisions! But as things progressed, I did some soul searching and I realized.. I kind of want a relationship.

Yes, I said it.  The dreaded "R" word.  Now don't get me wrong.. I'm in no hurry to get a diamond and a golden retriever.  But I'd kinda like to have someone around that I'd like to see naked repeatedly. Someone I'd like to spend time with, who I actually care about.

I know. So lame. But, kind of appealing too. Sometimes.

As some of you know, there was Justin. The be all - end all relationship of relationships. A serious heart breaker. The most gorgeous man I've ever seen, and ironically.. the biggest jerk. We had a very long, very rough relationship.. engagement.. shared living space..etc. He broke up with me, we hooked back up.. and after another year of back and forth, I ended it officially.  He's been out of my life a little over 2 years now. Since then there have been a few hookups, a few brief dating stints.. but really, I've spent most of my time with Scott and in poker rooms. I've been working on NOT having a boyfriend. Justin got my 20's, but I'll be damned if I give my 30's to a man I'll eventually come to loathe.




So many years I gave to you.
See how happy I look in this picture?
The proof is in the film, boys and girls.

 For the last six months, traveling, I've had a few tempting offers. (All of which are blog readers, so I'll use aliases to protect their not-so-innocence). K in Vegas, who I went out with a handful of times.. and actually liked, but it was dicey. A friend had already called "dibbs" on him, and though he pursued ME.. it was brought to my attention that I was breaking a girlfriend code of some nature.  I don't talk to him anymore (He isn't even in the continental United States at the moment, I don't believe).. and I barely speak to the girlfriend (A falling out that may or may not resolve itself in time), but whatever. It happens.

R in Reno who was pretty much only available for illicit sex, but he had a roommate and I had a roommate and I was trying to be a good girl.  We had cocktails, conversation and poker. Damn he's cute though. I do still talk to him.. and well, he lives in Vegas now. Hmmm.. there is always next summer I suppose..

I saw R again in Oregon and he had a friend with him, J.  J went out of his way to get my information and sent me a message on Facebook just hours after we'd met. I do like a man who takes initiative. So cute. Tattooed, pierced.. but oh so young. He's probably 21 and a half, but he looked 16. I just couldn't do it. He's a ridiculously sweet man though. Smart as a whip, too.

Okay, I'll post pics of one of them. But only because he's super cool and he'd be flattered.
See how freakin' cute he is?
But really, seriously, he's like 9. Maybe 12. Okay, 22.
Either way, I'd feel like a child molester.
Nevermind. I wouldn't. Can I change my mind, J? Is it too late?

In Oregon I met one that could have been a keeper (Please don't hate me when you read this, I'm not saying you're NOT a keeper, I'm just sayin'... it doesn't look good, you know.. with us living 3,000 miles apart and all). A tall Native American man named J, who was sexy and charming.. the sort of man who will grab you in public and kiss you without asking permission. (And he did!). I'd never hooked up with or dated anyone from an ethnic background that didn't include blonde hair and blue eyes, and there was something exotic and tempting about him.  He spent many, many nights in my hotel room. And.. nothing. I wasn't looking for a one night stand, and we were so exhausted after working 12 hour days.. we'd just collapse and..dare I say it? Cuddle. I liked him a lot though. We still talk every day, and we talk of visits and future poker events. He has a small herd of children, though, so he's firmly rooted in Oregon. If anyone had a shot, it was probably this guy. He's used the "girlfriend" word a couple of times in reference to me, and I've demured away from it. Labels seem a little silly to me when you can't even grab a movie or dinner with the person.

I don't know whats wrong with me.  Maybe I'm holding out for Mr. Right, maybe I'm too picky. I'm flawed myself.. so I can't really say that I expect perfection.  I've gotten away from my physical standards: 6' plus, black hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth, rockin' body, great education (Though I had my FAIR share of those!). As I've aged, and my tastes have matured.. and as I become more and more flawed, I've realized that those things hardly matter.  My personality is such that I can pull just about any "type" I want, but really.. I just want to find someone who is good hearted. Someone who makes me laugh, is generally a good person, and has very little baggage/emotional hangups.  No criminal record would be great too. Oh, and some form of income that doesn't involve crack. They don't have to spend money on me, I just don't want to have to pay for their child support-court fines-video game addiction.

I don't want to grow old alone.. but I  would rather be alone than be with someone who makes me nuts. Regardless of the bet, which I'll never claim anyway, once I'm successful.. I'm in no hurry to have a meaningless fling.  Granted, this philosophy might change the next time I have more than one tequila shot, but right now.. in my perfectly sound mind, I've decided to be a good girl. You should be proud. :)

In the meantime, I have my full-time man to cuddle up next to. He's short, furry and orange.
But he's self cleaning, and he loves me unconditionally. <3 <3

P.S. Just in case I change my mind, I am absolved of my bet as of Feb. 14th, 2012. Right now, I have no plans. Accepting applications. Bring tequila.

Blog-A-Day Countdown to 2012: Lock Poker Experience, Florida, Game Over and CatCat flips the Bird.

I can either sit here and type out a short - to the point - blog post, and then scurry off to bed with the CatBeast.  Or I can run up to Exxon, load on up something caffeine-y, and settle in for the long haul.

   .....feel free to talk amongst yourselves....

22 minutes later.. I'm back from the corner store. 1 can of cat food (A peace offering for not choosing bed over blogging), 1 can Coca-Cola and one sugary-something-ruther and I'm all set.

Blog-A-Day Countdown to 2012: #11

Online Poker, Holiday-ing in Florida?, Game-Over and CatCat is Rude

Back to Online Poker.. Which is Ironic, Really.

I started playing on Lock Poker last night, thanks to a reader who set me up with an account.  Played four tournaments, and I kid you not.. cashed in all four.  First in two of them, second in another (Small tournaments though, the total was around $348) I really like the site.. and not just because I won. (I chalk it up to the player base either being REALLY soft, or me actually improving a bit during my time being forced to play live).  The interface has a lot of the cool little features I enjoyed on various sites before Black Friday.. easy minimizing for multi-tabling, snarky emote-smilies for talking shit, and a sleek black design. They have a ton of games going all the time.. and surprisingly, everyone seems to speak English. When you cash in a tournament, a little graphic with a trophy and fireworks pops up. I like fireworks when I win. I'm a girl. Don't judge me.

A silver trophy for 2nd place! Awwww.
My gold-trophy screen shots are on my laptop.
And it's all the way across the room.
So this will have to do. You get the point.

I want to test the cashing out process, and it's effectiveness, so I'm removing everything but the original $20 my friend set me up with. I'll let you know when I receive the check, and whether or not it bounces. They say it takes 4 to 6 weeks, AFTER verification of my identity. We'll see how it goes. I guess I'm a little untrusting with the whole online-poker debacle we all went through earlier this year.

With the remaining $20, I'm going to start a mini-project that I'll keep updated through my blog.  I'm going to try to grind it into $1000 without rebuying, in 90 days.  I would say 30 days, but I have a month long event coming up and I doubt I'll have a lot of time or energy to crack skulls at the .02cent/.05cent tables at the end of the day. I'm doing this for a couple of reasons... one, it'll hopefully help me work on battling my seriously short attention span, AND practice managing a bankroll.  I've never really worried about bankroll management before, despite having written about it for years in my columns and print media work. I haven't worried about it.. because it didn't really apply to me.  I'm not a professional player, I'm a recreational player. When I have recreational dollars, I spend them on poker. When I win, I spend it on stupid shit. Like shoes and lip gloss. How much I win only really affects the brand names of the shoes, and whether the lip gloss comes from Clinique or Walgreens. Femme-Bankroll Management at it's best.

When you google Shoes + Lip Gloss, this is what you get.
Pretty f'in hideous.
But for the girl who likes to multi-task, this could be a golden ticket!

I think I represent the norm in my bankroll tendencies, and the "norm" aren't overwhelmingly successful at poker.  Though I don't intend to make it a staple in my income, I would like to hone my skills and practice what I've been preaching all these years.  The benefits of being a writer.. I know the lingo, and the theory.. I've just never really put serious application into it as it applies to me.

So $20 into $1,000. That's the goal. I'm grind micro stakes and tiny SNGs until I can move into larger brackets.  Once I hit a grand, I'll cash it all out, give 10% to charity and spend the other $900 on...shoes and lip gloss. If I'm unsuccessful, I really haven't lost a dime.. the initial $20 was to lure me into the site, donated by a reader. Back in the day, I deposited MORE than my fair share into the big online sites.. and won my fair share as well. I don't want to get caught up putting money back into online gaming of any variety until it's legalized, or I'm confident the site I'm doing business with can actually afford to pay me.

In other news...

I've been doing a whole lot of nothing.  Sleeping, watching movies with Mom, and generally being a lazy girl. I'm not sure I'm brushed my hair in three days. Sort of in a routine of shower-brush my teeth-pull wet hair into pony tail and .. sleep more. Tomorrow I have to brave the throngs and get a few small gifts for people, so this will require me actually being awake during daylight hours.  And probably doing laundry. I suppose I shouldn't complain, I've enjoyed the hibernation while it lasted.

She's a "special" kid. Short-Bus special, sometimes, as exhibited in this photo.
She loves that shirt.

My sister is determined to lure me to Destin, Florida for the actual holiday. She's in the Air Force and stationed at Hurlburt, AFB.  Since my entire family consists of Mom, Bex and I.. we're considering making the trek down there the day after or so and staying two days. Not 100% sure on this one, yet.

Last May in Destin, with pink hair and an almost tan.

It was a really fun trip..except..

Scott, the world's oldest 7 year old, required round the clock babysitting.
You just can't take him anywhere.

This blog hasn't been exactly riveting.. or really even worthy of my drive for caffeinated goodness. I'll have something more tantalizing tomorrow.  Like the details of my seriously challenged love life, or an update on a previously written about accidental poker stalker.

A few side notes, pictures & tidbits.

Tony Big Charles, despite as reported in my last blog, did not in fact delete his blog and drop off the face of the earth.  He seems to be back to blogging as usual, and I'm back to reading.

This picture tugs at my inner 80's child.  The sculpture is carved out of Styrofoam, and to me.. is breath-taking.  It's called "Game Over". I'm such a geek. Mario and Peach were an integral part of my child-hood. I spent many a hour collecting starts and whomping 'shrooms on the head. This picture sort of sums all that, in depicting it's passing. I heart it. I would get it tattooed on me somewhere, but I don't think it would translate to flesh quite so tastefully. And well, when you have a 14 inch chicken tattooed on your arm, it's important to keep things classy.

Finally, because I get asked about him all the time, CatCat is doing well.  He's cold, and doesn't like winter much.  He's decided to spend it wrapped up in his Hello Kitty blanket (Never leaves home without it!). This morning, I saw the lump in the blanket, but called out to him none the less.  This is what I got.

Pretty sure this is the equivalent of him giving me the finger.

I expect he'll resurface sometime in March.  He doesn't really "do" winter. Off to bed for now. I'll be back around tomorrow, as promised! <3 As always, thanks for reading.





Blog-A-Day Countdown to 2012: The Meltdown of a Fellow Blogger

I am really enjoying being at home.  Hanging out with Mom and being on the farm is such a welcome break from casino-life. I expected just a few days into this to want to be back on the road ASAP, but the truth is.. two more weeks doesn't feel like or sound like enough time. I'm sure after the holidays I'll be rearin' to get back to work.




It doesn't matter how many amazing sights you see traveling..
Home is always so beautiful. <3

I'm waffling about the blog post I've just typed out below. I make it a point to never write anything overtly negative about coworkers, players, casinos or events. It just doesn't serve much of a purpose, and it generally leaves a bad taste in SOMEONE'S mouth. This blog post is about a fellow blogger, and a lot of my perceptions will come across as negative. I'm going to go ahead and publish this though, simply because his blog speaks for itself.. and absolutely nothing that I've written isn't demonstrated daily in his blog.

Blog Countdown to 2012: #12

Tony Big Charles' Big Meltdown

If you're here, you're a blog reader. So you'll understand when I say I have a list of blogs I stay perpetually glued to. My list includes a lot of the ones you all likely read as well.. Monk's of course, Kai's (though he never, ever updates it). A girl I worked with in my early twenties who is absolutely CONVINCED she is dying of some catastrophic grouping of diseases and blogs EVERY single detail of her impending demise. (Doctors continue to tell her she's batshit crazy, but she's convinced all of them are wrong, perpetually.. but I digress). I would link to hers, but she damn near banned me from exercising my voyeuristic tendencies once before for kindly suggesting she see a shrink. I learned my lesson. (And how to get multiple IP addresses so I could continue to lurk) Oh the pains I go to, to feed my need for information.  Anyway, I have a different reason for reading all of them.  Some are train wrecks in slow motion, while others are humorous.. informative.. insightful and even brilliant. I probably read 20 different blogs a day, plus a daily browsing of all the blogs on the Gulf Coast Poker Network.




The blogs on this site are solid gold. And not just because I'm on there!


This year I met a rather unusual blogger, while out in Vegas. His name is Tony Big Charles, and yes, I realize I am probably the last blog reader on Earth to not know who he is. His blog, aside from being one of the most well read in poker, is an anomaly.  It's painstaking to read. Mind numbing, and sort of like shooting yourself in the foot with a nail gun over and over again. And yet, I can't stop checking it... Two, sometimes three times a day. To understand why, I must first tell you a bit about Tony. I should also mention that it isn't always the blog itself that keeps me glued, but the comments from other readers. Pure f'ing comedic gold, his commenter's are.

Taken from All Vegas Poker. Mr. Big Charles himself. Looking rather tired.

Tony Big Charles is a poker player. Actually, that's probably a loose interpretation.  He's a gambler who also plays poker. He blogs about the trials and tribulations of life as a sort-of-homeless low-limit grinder. I don't mean your typical low limit grinder either.. I mean, literally.. he plays $1/$2 and below. $2/$5 if he's REALLY feeling froggy, and usually only in extremely short burst.

Tony defines himself as autistic, and as a natural card counter. He has a penchant for slot machines and an insatiable lust for that which eludes him most... Women. My description of Tony might make it sound like I don't like him.  Which really isn't the case at all.  I'm not sure how I feel about Tony.  He makes me sad, mostly, but you can't stay sad for long.. because 99% of the woes that plague him are self-inflicted.

I met Tony while dealing at the Riviera, during my brief stint passing through there. He was in the 7 seat, and I was struggling during my first or second shift dealing, ever.  The players were talking about his blog, and with me being the only female at the table, he honed in on me and asked where I was from. I told him, and he said "Oh, I read a blog by a girl from down there. From Tunica!" I knew instantly he was talking about me, but I was so focused on remembering to burn and turn without looking like a rookie that I didn't make much mention of it. He managed to put two and two together a few minutes later. "You're that girl! You're that girl blogger. I didn't know who you was, but now I do."

Really, our association had begun much earlier. I'd written a post about sex and the female poker player. Something about a genitalia buffet. I'll link it so you can read his comment.  Me being a relatively pleasant southern gal, when he shared with me his story of a lifetime of loneliness, I offered up that I was certain there was someone out there for him.. and that perhaps I would someday introduce him to the beautiful female poker players down here in the South.  Of course, this is before I knew him in person.. and I made the offer without ever expecting to be called on it.

Hey, I have Claudia Crawford down here in the South to count among the poker players..
And she's gorgeous! But already attached. Sadly.

Here we were, Tony Big Charles and I in Vegas, at the same poker table.  He immediately launched into tales of paying girls $100 to sit behind him and rub his shoulders.  Stories of hookers and degenerate females trying to take his money.  Anecdotes I wouldn't have believed, if I wasn't hearing it myself. Without stopping for a breath, he shared personal stories from my blog.. which granted aren't too personal if I'm typing them up for the world to read.. but not necessarily something I'm prepared to discuss while wearing my "Dealer" name tag.  I was literally just trying to not drop the deck, or push the pot to the wrong person.

It was socially awkward, and I escaped rather quickly. Happy to have it behind me, and certain it'd be the last I'd see of Mr. Big Charles.

Fate wouldn't have it that way though, and as I made my way towards Reno to deal my first even on tour, Tony also decided to relocate. For the entire duration of the event. This wasn't a weekend tournament either.. but a month long extravaganza where we'd spend many hours within three feet of each other, every single day. 




Suddenly it felt like the SMALLEST little city in the world.


I'd deal to him, listening to how he interacted with others (with about as much grace as a cat trying to swan dive), and then I'd go back to my hotel room and comb through his blog with the intensity of a college student cramming for finals.  It became a quirky obsession that I learn about the different blog readers leaving comments, and whether they were pro-Tony or anti-Tony. Either rooting for his imminent failure or for him to be a success story.. rags-to-nicer-rags if you will.

Each day I would awake with new-found commitment to sharing a kind word with him, or genuinely befriending him.. the altruistic nature I want to believe I possess superseding the superficial, and allowing me to make a connection with someone who clearly, so desperately needs a real friend. And then he'd blurt something out, while I'm shuffling, about my personal life and proceed to tell me that a decision I'd made was stupid or didn't make sense. I'd forget, of course, my humanitarian plight and instead fantasize about strangling him. Momentarily. It always passed.

Tony's story is overwhelmingly sad and inspiring. Both for the wrong reasons. I am unclear on all the details but the cliff notes include years of homelessness, mixed with a few rousing tales of sleeping on the roof of casinos and camping in sleeping bags outside Foxwoods.  One girlfriend, who he met in a mental ward of some nature, that he managed to procreate with.. before she left him for a "black guy". He seems to have a general distaste for "black guys", perhaps because of this.  He gave his son to his Mother, the child's grandmother, to raise.. and appears to have very little involvement in either of their lives. He now bounces around hotels rooms, primarily between the IP Vegas and the 4 Queens or CircusCircus, with his entire net worth stuffed into his sock. This, dubbed his "sock roll", is public knowledge as he updates daily exactly how many pennies he has to his name.

This picture actually comes up when you google Sock Bank Roll. Apparently, it ISN'T such a bizarre concept. Weird.

He says he's essentially scared of his own shadow.  He lives in perpetual belief that someone plans on shanking him in his sleep, and that monsters lurk under the bed. And yet, any girl can come along and con him out of limitless amounts of money in exchange for attention or a little physical affection.
Tony seems sometimes, to be so overwhelmingly helpless, while at the same time being perfectly capable.  He blames others for every bit of misfortune that comes his way, and expects his "friends" to take responsibility for every need he has.  If he can't figure out how to operate a can opener, he asks his readers if someone can please explain it to him. If he goes on tilt and loses a bunch of money in the video poker machines, it's a readers fault for telling him about a promotion.  He constantly asks for advice, and when honest advice is given.. he picks and chooses what he likes about it, argues with those trying to help him, and generally disregards all of it. For someone who has so little, he has an enormous sense of entitlement and very little about his nature that shows true kindness or generosity towards others.

And yet, through his blog, I have been absolutely awe struck.. time and time again. Among the following and loyal readers, I see the tireless efforts of others to help him. To do HIM kindness. To shepherd him when he's wayward. Granted, he has a healthy crowd rooting against him.. but what really strikes me is the hearts of those who repeat, like a broken record, kind words urging him to succeed. Readers who have given him rides, and second hand clothing. People who have shared their time when he's been in a bind. Virtual friends who overlook the negative and pray for him. Poker players who wouldn't hesitate to beat him out of a healthy pot, should the opportunity arise, check on him and respond to him on a daily basis; simply because they are called to care about another human being who perpetually teeters on the brink of self-destruction. A lot of them, much kinder and more patient than myself, serve as a reminder that I shouldn't be so quick to judge and instead, more apt to care.

I write this now, because for a long time, Tony has been beating the odds.  What started with just a couple hundred dollars, he managed and grew to over $15,000.  He'd been successfully living on the road for a few years without any major hitches, and seemed to be thriving in a world that's hard for someone without obstacles to overcome to make it in.  As much as some of the things he says and does grates on my very being, I was proud of Tony. I found myself slowly falling into the Pro-Tony camp.. the silent, and sometimes not so silent, readers who really wanted him to succeed. To find happiness, find peace and maybe someday find a woman who doesn't smoke crack or turn tricks, to settle down with.

The fireworks BEFORE the nuclear fallout. The worst may still be yet to come.

Then, like a time bomb tends to do, it all exploded. In a matter of just a couple of weeks.. without explanation (though not without foreshadowing), Tony went on life tilt. As one reader put it "Tony hit his panic button".  The sock-roll fell from $15,000+ to under $8,000.  Then to $5,500 or so. He left Reno, almost in an emergent state.. paying over $800 for a cab ride to Vegas. Rumors, just tonight on Twitter, suggest yet another melt-down. Tony is nearing broke, and he is out of options. After doing so well for so long, too. There is no doubt that slot machines and tilt-gambling are the culprits, and that Tony and Tony alone is to blame.

I find myself firmly in the Pro-Tony side of things right now.  I feel bad for letting his social awkwardness get to me and the times I've cracked up over a witty insult left on his blog.  He's an odd critter for sure.  One that can be rude and hurtful with the things he says, and has little to no regard for the majority of the people in his life. His contributions to the online poker community have been tremendous, though not always for the reasons I think he anticipated, but I want more than ever for him to come out of this tailspin and get his life on track. He has always been open and honest about his gambling problems, and I think it's somewhat disheartening to see the grip our industry can have over one's soul.

I don't have a clear cut solution to the problems that Tony's dealing with. The short and sweet answer would be.. "Quit gambling. Get an apartment. Get a job." But I feel like Vegas has it's talons in his heart, and he'll never be free of the destructive tendencies he exhibits. So, with that in mind, I don't have a way to close this blog on any sort of positive note. I suppose I'm just sharing my thoughts and inviting you all to read along with me, if you like. If you don't already. He is a living example at times, for everything in the casino industry. The opportunities it can provide the disciplined, and the far more common destruction that can befall those who lose control. If you're the praying, or charitable type.. I'd invite you to keep him in your thoughts, that someday he'll find a modicum of sanity and stability.

I am certain Tony will read this.  I'm not certain how he'll take my perspective, but I know he'll appreciate that I didn't mince words over it. He too chronicles his every thought on a public forum, so he understands what he's opening himself up to. Nothing I've said here, is a unique or foreign concept when talking about Tony Big Charles.  I'll give him credit for one thing though.. his blog has me hooked.

Hope you pull out of this one, TBC.

Edited to Add: In an odd twist of events, within an hour of finishing this blog post.. Tony has decided to delete his blog, twitter and facebook and "disapear" in order to break his gambling demons and start anew. This hasn't actually happened yet, but he posted about it on his blog (link above). Tony, your blog will be sorely missed by a good many of us.  Best of luck to you in trying to get back on your feet. Something tells me we'll hear from you again.. Blogging is as real an addiction as any other. Take Care.

Countdown to 2012: A blog post a day until the New Year.

I have been a terrible blogger lately.  Everything became so hectic, being on the road, and I really have no excuse.  I'm going to repent for my slacking by writing a one blog post a day until 2012. True story.

It's really the only shot I have of ever getting caught up. I'm going to do my best to do a synopsis of the last four months. I can't imagine this will be earth shattering journalism, but at the very least, it should be mildly entertaining. Here is how the format will go down.  In each post, I'll have one part poker and one part "other". Feel free to read what you like and take from it what you will.

Any specific questions you have about the games in Oregon, Nevada or Mississippi, the poker rooms or any other nuances you're curious about.. please email to JenniferGay80@hotmail.com and I will do my best to answer them. 

Look for the first of the Countdown to 2012 to crop up sometime today (Monday). Thanks for continuing to check in with me, even though I haven't been the most dedicated blogger.

<3
JG

In Oregon, Car Exploded, CatCat has moved out, Sister Goin' To War

I feel less and less like a new dealer and more like someone who actually knows what they're doing.  Which is silly really, but the transition from floor to dealer, or player to dealer was pretty profound.  It's entirely different having to only be aware of YOUR cards, or one ruling.. and being accountable for 10 people. Of which, at any given time, half of them think they're playing blackjack.

WildHorse casino: Significantly lacking in actual wild horses, but otherwise, very nice.

Pendleton is a far different type of event than Reno was. Reno was such an excellent event to break in at.  The floor people there are some of the nicest people I've ever worked with, not to mention.. they collectively had lifetimes of experience in the business.  They were patient and took their time to point out things I could do to make my downs run smoother. When I screwed up, which fortunately wasn't too often, it was never treated like a life or death situation and I never felt pressured to deal anything I wasn't comfortable with.  It helped me get acclimated.

Pendleton has a set of rules unlike anything I've ever experienced or seen anywhere else in poker. But I dig it. I like it a lot.. their rules are foreign, something new to learn and do properly, but the pace is a lot different from Reno and so far.. I like them both equally for different reasons.

Not relevant to the topic at hand, but the Oregon Coast is quite beautiful. You should visit. I am no where near the coast now, but my car is a lot closer than I am.  More on that later.

The vibe of this crew is different too, but not in a bad way.  I think dealing here will make me a better dealer. Even if the rules won't apply anywhere else, the high expectations and more demanding pace will make me a better asset to other events I deal in the future. I've been told to expect 12 to 14 hour days, events with 500 or 600 people in them, and potentially being locked in for hours at a time (For non-poker enthusiasts, being locked in means staying at the same table for long periods of time without moving or a break).  I'm looking forward to all of this. It sounds like a challenge, and I love the idea of coming "home" absolutely exhausted.

The Dealer Coordinator reminds me of Teresa Sommerfeld.  I like her already, because of this. She's funny and warm. I don't know if she's a Mom, but she has a cool-mom vibe, and I want to go out of my way to not cause her stress.

Things outside of work aren't ideal right now.  Driving into Pendleton, about five hours out, my engine LITERALLY fell out of my car. The engine mount broke, and took out an axle and a few other critical components with it. My warranty is fighting me on this, but I have a mechanic who is quickly becoming a friend, taking care of the situation.  We spent over an hour this morning on the phone together, talking about video games and computer repair.  All sorts of geeky stuff.  I'm confident that even if this doesn't work out with the warranty paying it, that my car will be better off having been fixed by this guy. So I'm not stressing about it too much.

You can't really tell from the picture, but this is NOT where an engine is supposed to be. Not even close.

Leaving the car behind unexpectedly, left us with just 12 hours to figure out how to cross a 5 hour drive.. with no vehicle.  We ended up in a high-speed hour long shuttle ride, driven by a middle eastern man with "Masha Allah" written on the back of his van (to which Josh commented "I'd wear a turban right now if it'd get us to Pendleton faster".. cracks me up), to the Portland airport, where we ended up on a plane a little larger than a crop duster enroute to work. Essentially, we had a private flight to work.. I'd just rather my jet-setting experiences not come at the expense of my car in the future.

CatCat likes a private flight, with a window seat.
Spoiled Kitty.

This experience was a lot less "Rock Star" and a lot more "Stressful" than it looks.

I had arrangements before I got to this event to room with Josh in a pet-friendly hotel.  Somewhere in the last two weeks, this all changed.  Josh's long time friend, Rocco signed up to do the event too.  They usually room together, and I kinda figured they'd want to this time as well.  I reluctantly offered to room with someone else that I don't know very well, but upon arrival.. when it became evident that the rooms only had one bed in each (the two-bed rooms were unavailable), and we'd be limited to one bed plus one air mattress.. things were a little awkward.  The air mattresses were literally flush with the beds, making it almost like one large bed.. albeit, at different heights.

My home for the next two weeks. A lot nicer than it looks. Thank God.

Now, I know this will surprise a lot of you, but I wasn't too keen on literally crawling in bed with someone I barely know. Plus my new roommate wasn't in love with the idea of CatCat. The whole situation made me uncomfortable, so I went with a different friend.. Dayan, to his hotel and booked a room there.  It's only a block away, but I feel like I've kinda been ousted from everyone I know. The upside is.. I don't have a roommate, which isn't all bad.  I'm alone for the first time in months.  The downside, aside from having my feelings hurt (regardless of how justified that is), is I had arrangements for a roommate and a place where I could have my cat.. and now I'm footing the bill for something completely on my own and my cat is staying with Josh and Rocco.  CatCat is my one constant source of comfort.  He's my buddy, he goes everywhere with me.  I woke up at least four times last night looking for him. I know he's being well taken care of, and well loved.  I know I can walk over there and see him, but right now.. the whole situation has me so frustrated that going over there at all stresses me out.

I'm not going to be in a living situation that makes me uncomfortable.  I realize that by not having a car, I'm no longer that useful to any roommate, but I'm not happy with how this has all gone down. As ridiculous as this is.. I'm in a room with two beds alone, there are two guys in the pet friendly hotel shackin' up on a bed and an air mattress.  It makes no sense to me, but I didn't plan this trip or arrange anything, so I'm not going to make any demands or inconvenience anyone.  I know that I'll be planning my trips and making my own accommodations for future gigs. 

My newfound independence has an upside though!
I walked many blocks, after midnight, in Pendleton at risk of getting mugged just to
get this tonight. Peach Arizona Tea.
A flavor I just haven't had luck finding anywhere. <3
If I'd been rooming with someone else, I would have been talked out of such a task.
But with my prize in hand, I am victorious!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at any of the guys over this rooming fiasco.  I'm a woman in a male dominate field, and what works for them or makes them comfortable.. isn't always going to work for me. I'm also very prone to keeping my mouth shut (believe it or not) when something is really bothering me, rather than pushing it off on others to deal with. Josh has been an excellent friend and traveling companion to me.  Rocco is great, and the other guy seems cool.  I think the stress of my car, some family issues and not having CatCat is just wearing me down.  It'll pass, and hell.. it's only two weeks.  I can survive anything for two weeks, right?

Josh even went as far as to say "whatever you need or want me to do, so you'll be happy, I'll do".  But seriously, I'm not going to cramp everyone elses' arrangements.  So I'll be here in my surprisingly nicer hotel room, alone, missing my cat.. and looking forward to November 16th. :)

My sister texted today and said she's going to Afghanistan in a few months.  She's in the Air Force.  I'm so proud of my baby sister for what she does, but I am not thrilled about her going off to the sand box and being shot at. I love her so much, and I know my sentiments are no different from anyone else who sends a loved one over there, but this breaks my heart.  This isn't the first person I've loved to go over there.  I've attended the funerals of more than a couple as well.  I know Bex is smart, and she'll come home none the worse for wear, but it's such a different emotion when it's your sibling..rather than a husband, friend or acquaintance.

My beautiful sister. If you're in Afghanistan, please watch out for her. Unless you're a creeper with a gun.
And then, stay far far away.

My Mom was in a small accident, in a WalMart parking lot.  She's mostly okay, but being so far away was like being kicked in the stomach.  I hate not being able to cheer her up when she's going through a rough time. My family isn't big, but the way I feel about her and Bex is the same as if I had dozens of aunts, uncles and cousins.  They're my whole heart.  Add CatCat, and it's pretty much all I need in the world. Well, plus a few of you too of course.  When you have a small family, your friends kinda become your extended family.  I can't tell you how many times my connections with you all through facebook and texting have kept me optimistic.

I have to be up super early (Well, by dealer standards. Anything before noon is super early), so I'm going to jump off here.  I'll update more about my trip, and this event out here in the next post.

Even if it sounds like I'm bitching, I'm still feeling rather lucky.  I am exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do. There are things I would change, but I wouldn't exchange my situation for someone else's, even if it were shinier and prettier on the outside.

He always looks so innocent and sweet in photos. LIES.

I don't think he reads the blog, because.. well, anything longer than two sentences that isn't mostly in pictures, and he tunes it out altogether.. but I miss Scott a lot more than I thought I would.  I really undervalued our friendship.  Which is saying a lot, considering how much I valued him. There have been plenty of long phone conversations since I've been on the road, and aside from Mom, he's probably the person I'm looking forward to seeing most over the holidays. I heart that guy.  Even if he is a total pain in the ass.

<3,
J

My Itinerary: Goodbye Reno, Hello San Francisco. CatCat & Coop Color Coordinate. Fallen World Leaders and More.

I leave Reno today.  Or rather, looking at the clock, in about 3 hours.  Headed for Lake Tahoe.  I have no excuse as to why I haven't updated in almost a month.  It's funny how time slips away from you when you're busy living. Then, once a little time slips away, so much material builds up that the prospect of writing it all down seems daunting and gets delayed in lieu of watching Dexter or counting CatCat's toes.

Home for the last three weeks.. The Grand Sierra Resort, Reno NV.

I want to write all about the Reno Pot O' Gold event:  My first big dealing event on the road... The million and one misconceptions I had about dealers (from my previous perspective of a player or poker room supervisor).. but, it's almost time to get on the road and I just want to get a quickie update out there and let you all know what the plan is.

I give Reno, NV two thumbs up.

This is far more enchanting in person. Through my dirty windshield, not so much.

I've loved my stay in Reno.  So much so that I could see myself coming back here and spending more time in the future.  The countryside is beautiful, the air is chilling and the people are friendly enough.  The casinos aren't as much of a focal point here as I expected them to be, and for that I'm grateful. We didn't eat anywhere particularly spectacular, outside of the casinos, but we did visit the "Safari Zoo".

Josh's approval ratings with the cloven hoofed crowd is through the roof.

Look closely... MONKEY BABY! We snuck up on her and the baby was out running around. She got a good look at Josh, snatched her baby up by the neck and ran off to hide in her bunker.  Good momma. :)

I interrupt this blog post for a little Emu Pornography. If you're into this sort of thing, knock yourself out. For everyone else, consider this less an invasion of Emu privacy.. a more the witnessing of species propagation.
 I think the fact that I had a camera excited them.

They had a ton of exotic animals, in decent enough enclosures.  The staff seemed to care about the animals well enough.  This coming in the wake of the exotic animal release up in Zanesville, Ohio.. and really, it was just a bit much.  My heart ached for the critters living their lives behind bars. I understand the allure of owning exotics.  I grew up on a farm with exotic animals. There wasn't much this park had that we hadn't owned or had access to growing up. You think you're doing the right thing, because you love the animals.. and they're already caught/born in captivity, so what's the harm right? But really, wild animals have no business being caged.  No animal really has any business living it's life caged.  I'd turn CatCat loose if I thought he'd be able to live a life without room service. But really, he's one step away from being more civilized than Josh.

Speaking of civilized.  Notice how they color coordinate their sweatshirts? Eerie. You haven't been entertained until you've seen Josh Cooper stuff my cat in a sweater. True Story. (His idea.. not mine).

The rest of Reno passed in a bit of a blur.  The Grand Sierra Resort, where we stayed (And where I need to hurry up and check out of this morning..) has been quite good to us.  We had a really nice room, with a beautiful view of the mountains.  CatCat managed to go undetected for the entire 21 or so days we've been here.  The hotel is extremely pet friendly, so they may not have cared that he was here.. but we don't like risking it.

The hotel itself includes a movie theatre, bowling alley, shopping mall, a bevy of places to eat and a ridiculously large arcade and fun plex. One need not ever leave the building, now that I think about it.

A good chunk of the crew out midnight bowling one night.  Sad bowlers we are.. the best score was a 159. I can't remember exactly everyone that was there, but the ones I remember for sure and pictured here are Randy, Terp, Miranda, Chris, Josh, D-Rod, Josh T, Mike, Shannon, Chann, Collins, Nate, Amy, Rose, Tony, Kim, Me.. and.. I think thats it?

Josh, Tony, Josh T and Kim at the bowling alley.

Livin' The Dream

Originally, Tulsa was the next city on the agenda.  The paperwork needed to process with gaming in Oklahoma insisted I have a current passport and/or birth certificate and social security card.  I haven't had a birth certificate on me in years.  I attempted to order one from one of those express services where you pay an arm and a leg and they get it to you practically overnight.. only to be mostly scammed. (In that, I'll have a birth certificate.. just no where near in time to use it for this event).  I simply was unable to get the required paperwork together in time.

In a stroke of fantastic luck, I was hired by the Wildhorse Casino in Pendleton, Oregon for the Fall Roundup which begins on November 2nd. I've always been fascinated with the Pacific Northwest. For more than half my life I've wanted to go into the caves along the coast of Oregon, looking for critters in the renowned Sea Lion Caves.

So with a somewhat limited budget, and an end goal of Oregon.. the itinerary for CatCat, Josh and I is as follows:

• October 20th - 24th (am) - Harvey's Lake Tahoe where we'll be staying in a comped room and checking out Lake Tahoe/Olympic Village/Surrounding Areas.
• October 24th (pm) - October 28th (am) San Francisco/Bay Area - Planning to see Pier 39, Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill, Coit
• October 28th (mid-day) - Drive through Redwood National Park.
• October 28th (pm)- 30th (am) - Florence/Newport, Oregon. Driving the Pacific Coast Highway into Oregon, where we will tour the SEA LION CAVES!!!!! And do other random beachy-cold-Pacific Northwest-y things.
• October 30th-31st - Tillamook/Portland Oregon.
• November 1st - Pendleton, Oregon to get settled in before reporting to HR on November 2nd.

So for now, we're off.  I aspire to update more from the road this time.  The next couple of weeks will provide more downtime than the above schedule would make you think.  There is a LOT of car time sandwiched in there too. 

Other points of interest:

This photo of Muammar Gaddafi is all over every news outlet in the world right now.  Supposedly, it's the bloodied death photo of the fallen leader. The part I'm confused about, is why they're able to make this photo public information?  If I recall, when we were all screaming for a death photo of Osama Bin Laden.. (Essentially ANYTHING to prove his was in fact deceased), the resounding response was that the American media didn't feel it was appropriate to display photos of someone's death/corpse or gore of that nature. My, how we've changed our tune.  Is it Muammar Gaddafi or Moammar Gadhafi? I swear, five different news channels.. four different spellings.  I'm not entirely sure the below body IS in fact his. Whoever it is, looks definitively dead. RIP below guy. Gaddafi or not, this was not a good day for you. :(

This camera was on ONE bar. Would have been a shitty time to need to charge it. Charge your batteries, folks. You never know when a world leader is going to get slain in your 'burb and require your youtubing readiness.

This band played one night here at the Grand Sierra.  They're not amazingly talented, but they're a lot more talented that their shtick nerd getup would lead you to believe.  Plus, they were funny. <3

Nerds. So hot.

This picture makes me laugh. No idea what they're so intent on, but this is what I woke up to after a brief nap one evening.  CatCat and Josh, presumably discussing the contents of the Chinese food containers, while having a snack.

Isn't offering a CatCat chinese food, sort of like offering a chicken some nuggets?

Well, I'm going to jump off here. I know it's been awhile, but I will do my best to stay more on top of things in the future.  For what it's worth though, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing and seeing parts of the country I'd only hoped to.  My next post will have more details about the actual poker tournaments and the dealing aspects. I miss Mom and Scott a lot, but I'll be home before ya know it for the holidays.

If any of you have any points of interest I need to see while cruising around the Pacific Northwest, please let me know. Thanks for your patience and for reading.

A quickie update. Laughlin, Reno, Imperial Palace and More.

We're still doing the comp-hopping.  So far I've lived at Bally's, Harrah's, Circus Circus, The Orleans, Harrah's Laughlin and now Imperial Palace this month. I've enjoyed seeing Vegas in this capacity.  It's certainly done a wonder on my love affair with the city.. it's diminishing, rapidly. Just the two days we spent in Laughlin were a breath of fresh air.. being back near water, and interesting terrain made me miss the south and being outside.  Being around the critters.  This has been a learning experience on a lot of different levels.  First and foremost being that I am definitely a southern girl!

I have a few lists, a few pictures and some brief thoughts before I scramble off to bed.

Where I am right now.  I know this picture is a bit confusing, but I like it.  What you see reflected in the window is the McDonald's behind me (Free WiFi for the win), and outside the McDonald's is The Mirage (In front) and Casino Royale (to the right). Even at 5 am, with the sun starting to creep up, this place is a flurry of activity. A McDonald's Flurry.
See what I did there? I slay myself.

Cops Las Vegas, Or Las Vegas Cops.. whichever it is.  They're always around, looking for degenerates to film.  I have a story about this actually, but it involves a drunk friend and I need to feel out how much I should change to protect the not-so-innocent before I publish it.  Standby.

We had a food credit at The Orleans so dinner at Big Al's Oyster Bar was in order.  Large bowls of mediocre food served with chunks of what can only be the world's largest Saltine Cracker pictured here. 
And an "unaware he's being photographed John Hardin".
I give this place, one thumbs up.  The company gets two thumbs up.
Thanks Josh, Jen and John. :)

For protecting your valuables. CatCat is adjusting to a life of travelin' just fine.  He likes to explore EVERYTHING. It was all I could do to convince Josh that we shouldn't leave the Cat in the safe.




...And Now..
A few points of interest.

• We leave to deal the Reno Pot O' Gold event on Tuesday.  Come see us both!   I'd like as many of you as possible to show up.. make me look like I have some street cred on the west coast. ;)
• My Mom has been going through a rough time at the farm in Cordova.  So I'm going to put a quick plug in for her.. she teaches horseback riding lessons, boards horses and has Siamese kittens for sale.  If you need any of this, or have a kid's birthday party coming up and need to rent a pony, call her at 9017547687.
• After Reno there is a possibility of a Southern California road trip.  If I don't get hired on for Oregon in November, there is the distinct possibility of a visit back home.
• Special Thanks to the Indianapolis Colts for covering the generous 11 points you were given. Cooper and his sport's betting enterprise is grateful. (As are CatCat and myself, cause we get to hear about it).

I'm really looking forward to Reno.  It will put me in a better position to figure out what the next  move is for me.  I'm honestly not sure right now.  I would love to say that things have gone exactly as planned, but hey.. they rarely do.  The Riv doesn't have the volume of business to sustain another dealer (or even some of the existing ones), so I've got to figure out what is next on the agenda.  I'm up for flipping a coin on this.  I'm fairly resourceful.  I'm sure something will present itself.  And if it doesn't, I've gotten really good at bumming around aimlessly.  Here's to goals!

Dexter starts back up next week.  Can't wait. Pretty sure this is the last season for Dexter, House, Desperate Housewives, Grey's AND Private Practice.  Which means, I may not watch TV at all next year.  Except for Glee.  Shut up. I like Glee. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Cockroaches must be on vacation..

We are staying at the Imperial Palace right now, and I'd like to publicly say that all the negative hype is overrated.  Sure, it's no Bellagio.  Or even Bally's.  And our room KINDA feels like a hospital room. And there is an odd could-be-rust-stain-could-be-blood-splatter stain on the top right of the curtains in our room.  And the window overlooks an industrial alley. But I expected rats the size of cats and cockroaches sharing my bed the way some of you talk.  And really, it's clean. And it's comped, and it's orderly. I get better TV reception on my iPhone, but to be honest, the IP Vegas is no worse than any motel 6.  Any FREE room is a great room to me. :)

A delayed birthday celebration..

My two favorite guy friends both had a birthday this week.  The same birthday, September 23rd. Josh Cooper is 27, and Scott Williams is 29.  For the 14th straight year.  I feel awful because I wasn't able to do anything for either of them due to financial constraints (And by financial constraints I mean.. being out of work for WAY too f'n long). I've got top secret plans to make it up to both of them though, and I'll be writing a blog post about it when I pull these plans off. For now though, let me just sum up by saying that you two are invaluable to me.  You both make me want to choke you 50% of the time, and the other 50% of the time, I can't imagine getting through a day without you. I heart you both, and I'm a better person for knowing you both.

This about sums it all up.. for now..

Sorry there isn't more content here.. I'm cramped on time and to do these right takes hours.  You're not missing much.  My day consists of waiting for work right now.. sleeping, eating, hanging out with Josh and CatCat, hanging out on my own, wandering around taking pictures of things that delight me and thinking a lot.  A lot of self evaluation.  A lot of playing chess on my computer. Nothing terribly earth shattering.  I'll update again once I get to Reno.  In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves. <3 <3

P.S. It was recently brought to my attention that one "Rocco" has finally discovered my blog.  Knowing this, my life is more complete. I will rest easier at night. Now if only we could get him to write a blog..