Monday, February 21, 2011

Delta Gold at Goldstrike & Why Do Poker Players Smell Bad? A financial offer.

The Delta Gold starts this week at Goldstrike.  I like the buy-ins because they're low and attract a lot of the nightly-players.  I do not, however, like the timing.  A week and a half after the end of the WSOPCE?  Really?  Do you all in marketing think that any serious out-of-towners are going to go home for 9 days and turn around and come back to Tunica?  Nope. So the fields are pretty much limited to locals and those that couldn't manage to play during the 17 day spread at Harrah's.

Or those die hard Tunica vacation enthusiasts.  All three of them.

I do like Goldstrike though.  I was recently chastised (gently) by my favorite Goldstrike dealer Rita Baker for saying the payouts on the nightly tournament I won were "weak". (And they were, but this isn't the fault of Goldstrike.. I elected to play a nightly exactly two days after the WSOPCE ended.. bad timing & poor turnout = bad payouts).  I got a three minute lecture about being part of the "Tunica Family" and that even though Horseshoe and Goldstrike are technically in "competition", we've gotta have each other's back. So let me go on record as saying that Goldstrike is the second best poker room in Tunica. (Oh come on, you knew I was gonna say THAT!) and among the card rooms I am allowed to play in.. Its my favorite! I've worked with Ken Lambert a handful of times for different stories and event coverage pieces and he's always been helpful and quick to return my phone calls. (I tend to wait until about four minutes AFTER deadline to start getting my quotes, so everything is a last minute emergency.  Fortunately, he's patient with me).

The tournaments Goldstrike puts on throughout the year, or rather, MGM's lineup of tournaments ARE my favorite.  Even over those Harrah's offers.  I like the vibe, and if we somehow managed to put a muzzle on Brannen during his "single table sales pitch", it might possibly be my favorite series anywhere. I love the Beau Rivage. It ranks right up there with the Borgata and the Venetian in terms of luxury, which for Mississippi is saying a lot.

If you plan on coming out for the Delta Gold, I look forward to seeing you.  I'll be there, snappin' pictures of whatever oddities I see and gathering notes for my column.  Be sure to say Hi! :)

My next topic is more of a rant.  Poker players, if you're not taking active measures to smell GOOD, you probably smell bad.  There are ten of us (usually) crammed up next to each other, which is theoretically less space than necessary to share body fluids. Why is hygiene a recurring issue here?

I have taken to carrying Febreeze with me.  According to WSOP ethics policies (I inquired of the floor at the IP Biloxi event), the first time I Febreeze someone (assuming they complain), I will incur a warning.  The second time, depending on the ferocity in which I deploy the Febreeze, could result in a penalty or even expulsion from the event.  I'm counting on my adorable negotiation skills to keep it to a penalty.  Either way, this is something I'm willing to risk.

You can avoid smelling like canned "Fresh Linen" by simply showering. Cologne is a very nice touch, but I don't want to push my luck here.

This isn't just limited to body aromatics. Your breath.  It should be a concern. Especially if you're drinking coffee or a smoker. Just because you don't notice it, doesn't mean the rest of us don't. Seeing as how you can't tip your dealer after a particularly great hand in a tournament, do them another courtesy and stock up on the Tic Tacs.  I can't tell you how many conversations I've had this week where the way of describing a particular poker player went something like "You know, the guy with the hat and the backpack and the really bad breath..". 

I understand that this isn't always a high priority to some of you.  I, however, have oddly delicate sensibilities.  You can pepper conversation with me to include words that would make a sailor blush, and I'm fine. Skip a shower and I'm making a mental note to unfriend you on Facebook.

I'm willing to meet you in the middle with a financial incentive.  Consider it partial backing, if you will. At all events I will have in my bag a large selection of gum, tic tacs, febreeze, Irish Spring and a variety of expensive fluids with first names that include Giorgio, Ralph and Calvin.  Come see me, I'll hook you up. If you elect not to participate in my generous offer, should we end up next to each other at a table I will discreetly snap your photo, use my mobile blog app to post it remotely as a public service announcement to others.. right before I take my penalty and Febreeze you.

You've been warned.


  1. Nice. Glad you put this out there. I actually take soap from home because the cheap hotel soap just does not make me feel clean. Irish Spring, usually.

  2. A poker player after my own heart! I wish more players had the foresight to carry their own bath products. I commend you sir.