A New Year - A New Blog? Well, Kinda...My absence, explained. A disclaimer.

Today is the first day of 2014.  

Countdown to 1: #100

Like everyone else, I have a few resolutions.

First though, I owe a bit of an explanation about my absence over the last year. I am in a wonderful relationship with a great man. We have a beautiful kid together. I'm happy with my home and job. Things are good. When Steven and I first started dating, I slowly began to collect and add his friends and family members to my social media outlets. You know how in the beginning of a relationship you want to start everything on the right foot?

You're looking at my whole world right there.

It was more than that. He has a family dynamic that goes beyond what most people consider "typical". His family is large and boisterous, loving and entangled. They get together often and when they can't they facebook and call, text or email. To say they're close is an understatement. A great number of them are also very Christian and very southern in values and ideals. I realized, especially as the "new girl", that I was being scrutinized. By at least a few of them. Why wouldn't I? I live with their child/nephew/sibling/cousin and we're starting a family together! We're not married and we have a kid. I'm covered in tattoos. I'm blunt and kinda..weird. I get it.

I tried.. but when I did offend, I had a good excuse!
This year, no excuses.

I sat down to write at least a dozen blogs last year and always stopped. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write ANYTHING without offending SOMEONE?!  Imagine opening your thoughts up to your entire extended family of sort-of-in-laws. Its a scary prospect. More so because I want them to like me and respect me. This isn't a scenario of "they should accept me the way I am!" but more one of me deliberately showing respect. For example: My mother and I are pretty frank with one another. She doesn't love movies full of gratuitous F words and graphic sexuality. If I'm watching one, and she's over, I give her a warning. She may or may not stick around to check it out. We watched the whole series of Nip/Tuck and Breaking Bad together. I would say my Mom falls between a stiff PG-13 and R most of the time. Never NC-17. Steven's Dad, on the other hand, will change the channel off network TV like Grey's Anatomy and The Simpsons. He has very strong opinions about contemporary media and secular society. He's a G rating kind of guy, with occasional light PG stuff thrown in from time to time. Just his preference. He watched part of a Family Guy recently and was genuinely disturbed about the state of our world (It was the episode where Stewey kills Lois.. in all fairness, a pretty graphic episode to start with!). Steven and I run a stiff R rated household. Pushing NC-17. We speak frankly, are not easily offended and watch a broad spectrum of entertainment. I've grown accustomed to changing television channels from Comedy Central and curtailing my otherwise colorful mouth when visiting with family. And don't mind doing so, one bit.

The problem though, is that at times being under the familial microscope is challenging to balance. I have always been a writer, I have always enjoyed blogging. I do not write an always-family-friendly blog. And while I can talk about home remedies, baby constipation and coupons with the best of 'em these days.. I need to be able to write freely here or not do it at all.

Going forward in 2014 it needs to be understood that this blog, and anything written here, is never meant to offend. If you are easily offended or especially sensitive, you probably shouldn't read. If you're looking for a reason to dislike me or find flaw in my personality; you'll get it on these pages. The biggest mistake people make with me is trying to "read between the lines". Don't. I'm not making innuendo or hinting at anything. I say what I mean, sometimes without thinking it through entirely first. If you can't let that roll off your back and still have affection for me, you should really not read anything I write here. Ever. This is my disclaimer for 2014. I'll come up with a condensed version for potentially offensive topics to come.

Onward to resolutions!

I like to think my resolutions actually hold a bit of water in the credibility department. Over the last four years I have met or exceeded every resolution I made, including quitting smoking and remaining a non-smoker (second only in difficulty to the standard weight loss resolutions).

I'd be happy with somewhere right in the middle.

This year I have a few. I've spent the last month preparing to begin living my resolutions.

1. I want to lose 80 pounds. This sound huge, I know. It really isn't. I still have 45 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose, and beyond that I'd like to be a bit under weight or rather, about 20 pounds under my "ideal". Steven and I would like to try to have another baby in 2015 and I want the weight gain to be more tolerable on both my heart and brain. (The only exception to this resolution would be in the event of another birth-control mishap. But we're hoping to avoid that!).

In order to prepare for this goal I have purchased the supplements I like to use (Not weight loss supplements per se.. more like vitamin B12 and bulk fiber additives, etc). I have new walking shoes. I bought a scale (something I haven't owed in years). I prepare 60% of my meals at home anyway but would like to bring this to about 90%.

I'm not going to be a fruit loop about food.. I'm just going to focus on adding activity and cutting back, not making myself crazy with limitations. I'm using the LOSEIT! App, (It's free). If you'd like to use the same app to reach your goals, message me and I'll add you as a friend.. we can work out together. Sort of. :)

Aside from feeling better and prettier, I am trying to reduce my high blood pressure naturally and reduce my risk of diabetes later in life (I had gestational diabetes which makes me very likely to develop it otherwise).

2. I will write 100 blog posts in 2014. This is right around 2 a week. This will be about 97 more than I wrote in 2013. ;) This one counts. Only 99 to go! :)

3. I will continue to not smoke, remaining smoke free in 2014. (Sometimes, its a struggle still!).

Feel free to share your new years resolutions so I may cheer you on as well. :)

On another note:

Steven and I are all set to deal at the Beau Rivage at the Million Dollar Heater starting Jan. 3rd. There are two $500,000 guarantees and I think the turn out will be excellent. I'm looking forward to seeing  some familiar faces. Get information on the event at www.beaupoker.com

Next Blog will talk about an upcoming poker cruise to Belize (Oct. 2014) we're looking at doing, and an update on the little girl so many of you helped me sponsor for Christmas.

<3